wednesday words: depending

i missed this post last week because i just couldn't decide what to write about. oops.

what's been on my mind lately:

WHO ARE WE DEPENDING ON?

those first couple of years of our marriage when we were in japan, ben was away from me for months at a time, out to sea. he was usually gone 2 months, home for a month, then back out for 2 more. all in all, those first 3 years he was gone 8 months of every year. it's no wonder people always told us we were still like newlyweds even after being married for that long :)

while i was alone for those months at a time, i had to do a lot of things by myself. that was such a learning experience for me. in my mind, i thought "hey, i have a husband now, shouldn't he be doing this stuff for me?" :P not true! the things i learned i could handle myself and the situations the Lord helped me through helped grow me so much as a person, and i had to learn to be dependent on THE LORD and not a person. how easy it is to do that. i still struggle with this.

i'm a people person. always have been. those 3 years in japan were hard. i made a few friends, but it took a while, and they all moved away before we did. i had seasons of extreme loneliness, and sometimes would just lay on the floor and cry in our apartment. but you know what? the Lord was always there for me. and He taught me in those times of loneliness that He always would be.

"God has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you” Heb 13:5

a question to ask is: who are we dependent on? other people? a friend? a husband? or are we dependent on the Lord?

one of the biggest learning experiences i had during our first year in japan was about 6 months after we had moved there. ben was sent to california for a month of training, and i wanted to meet him there and have some time back in the US. i decided to go on military hops (standby military flights) and OH. MY. WORD. what an adventure that turned out to be. i still to this day am a bit amazed i did it by myself. i started out in okinawa japan, and missed the first flight i was supposed to go on. it was supposed to be an "easy" trip, getting on there and flying straight to seattle, wa, where i would catch a connecting flight down to san diego where ben was. it's a bit of a long story, but basically everything that could have gone wrong on that trip went wrong, including oxygen masks being used, almost being turned around, being stuck for hours due to a plane malfunction, etc. and what was supposed to be an "easy" trip, took 4 flights, 3 days, and involved sleeping in hotel rooms with strangers, being stranded in guam and hawaii, and ending up in northern california and staying in the airport until my flight to see ben. if you EVER would've asked me if i could've done something like that on my own, i would've laughed! but i did it! the Lord got me where i needed to go, just not in the way i had planned. isn't that always so true of our life? :)

so often people tell me (of my time alone in japan while ben was away) "i could never have done that!" and i always respond: "yes you could!" there were many challenging parts of that journey, and i cried many tears. but the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle, and more importantly He gets us there each step of the way. it wasn't in my strength that i made it through those 3 years, it was because HE helped me.

in the end i just want to encourage you to depend on the Lord. He is our rock and our strength, and gets us through hard times.